Sunday, May 9, 2010

would you like some cheese with my whine?

You know it's Mother's Day when...

...you have to clear up and do the dishes from your super-special Mother's Day (MD) Breakfast...and then clean stained dresses from rampant blackberry messes.

...you fight your kids to get dressed in church clothes, all the while begging them to hurry so you're not late to church...again.

...while listening to church speakers talk of their near-angelic mothers and wives, you have to stifle screams and cries of your own demonic offspring, all the while getting dirty looks from the old people in the pew in front of you (where's the motherly love in that, I tell you?!).

...you are forced to "share" all MD treats...causing major chocolate messes that, again, need to be cleaned.

...you make most of the MD dinner while your husband talks on the phone to HIS mother (ahhh, what a nice son ;)...including the MD dessert of pumpkin pie that your son has been insisting you bake for the last half week....not to mention, you strongly dislike pumpkin pie.

...while making said pumpkin pie, you're attempting to multitask in a motherly fashion by prepping potatoes to bake, making pie filling, cooking broccoli, etc and manage to royally screw up the pie crust (seriously, easily the most disastrous crust ever).

...you look around at the end of the day, see piles of toys and clothes, and realize it's your job to pick them up in the morning.



I'm beginning to now understand just why my mother has never been all that fond of Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day to all the influential women in my life! May your Mother's Day be filled with clean faces, perfect pie crusts, and dish-less sinks.

*in defense of my darling husband, he came to his senses and helped with dish-doing and the last half of dinner-making when he saw what I was up to.

21 comments:

Sheffer's said...

It's nice to know I'm not the only one not totally enamored with this "holiday". ;) What was up with the kids at church? Mine were going nuts all through sacrament, too. And I was getting those lovely looks from a certain person the whole time as well. Uggh. Although, James did let me rest this afternoon for a while, and made dinner. He just shouldn't have tried to do one of my signature recipes by himself. :) At least you looked fabulous at church today! :D

Catherine said...

HAHA! love it! glad we can laugh at ourselves... today, Cameron who was supposed to be in his big boy underwear thought that being naked was funner(is that a word?).... then he pooped all over the floor.. and no i am not joking... Tyler called me in from playing outside to help him clean the kid off... he did clean the floor thank goodness! what is with this day! :)

Alaina and Mitchell said...

haha...it's all a made-up holiday. I strongly suggest you jump on Hulu or abc.com and watch the latest episode of The Middle: it's a family in Indiana with 3 kids (starring Patricia Heaton--mama in Everybody loves Ray and "the janitor" from Scrubs...awesome couple!!) and it's all about her horrid mother's day. Simply hilarious!! You're not the only one this happens to--I think it's every mama in the world!

"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!" :o) Don't let your husband forget how great Father's Day always is...because mama's in charge and organizing it all! :o)

kristin said...

You know, I'm ok with not having a day off - I'm perfectly ok with just getting some recognition. So if that's all the holiday allows, I'll take it! But that's not to say that a day off wouldn't be great, either...

Gardners said...

:) Love it, Whit! I DO love Mother's Day, but I never expect too much - maybe that's the key? :)

Gretch said...

HA HA HA!! Thanks Whitney for saying it like it is!! So true. So true. Not a fan of Mother's Day either.

I agree though, you must watch The Middle- Hilarious!

Annie said...

I know what you're talking about... my hopes of a spirit-filled sacrament meeting without having to deal with the boys were gone as Owen only wanted mama. I also made my own pie (with a burnt top crust) and coached Alex through making dinner, and today I'm cleaning all the after effects.

But it's wonderful to be a mom.

Katie Rod said...

Too true. I am becoming less and less enamored with the holiday every year because my hopes get shot down with dirty dishes, poopy diapers, m.i.a. flowers and runny noses. But, if you think about it, isn't that what Mother's Day is all about?? hahahaha...it would be nice to have a day off every once in a while, though, wouldn't it?

Oh and just a side story, I was in Target Saturday afternoon and I just can't tell you how many men I saw with their kids trying desperately to pick out something for mother's day. I overheard one of the dads say, "I don't know. Let's get her a movie." I felt like stopping him and saying, "Go to the jewelry counter now and pick out something sparkly. Trust me, she doesn't want a movie." But, sadly, I just let him dig his own hole.

Thanks for the post, though. We can always hope for next year!!

Megan said...

whit, i love reading your blog! weston and i got a kick out of your MD one. seriously, i feel that way all the time! i have the screaming liam attached to my leg or hanging from my neck with lyra strapped in the bjorn to my chest and try to sweep or cook or whatever. my hubby is great, but we all know that it always falls upon the mom! thanks for keeping tabs on us. we miss you guys! you and spenc need to save your pennies and come see us without the demonic offspring!

Alabama Apples said...

I want a day OFF! Reading your blog reminds me you need one too...I think I need to come up with a fab plan having to do with kidnapping, sunny beaches, books, pool boys and yummy drinks with little umbrellas (sans alcohol, of course)...maybe one day...

Zachary said...

Happy Mother's Day my dear, dear Cousin...Happy Mother's Day!

You are loved :)

Steph said...

Oooo, I'm with Lib!! It's all I can do to refrain myself from jumping on a plain with you guys to a destination of white, sandy beaches, cabana boys waiting on us hand and foot with a fabulous book, sun and conversation. Mmmm, h.e.a.v.e.n.
Alas, the holiday where we are reminded that we are always needed, loved and that our job n.e.v.e.r. stops, even for such a day. I hope you were able to fit a teeny break in somewhere. I thought of you lots and was wishing you a Happy Mother's Day from afar. I have to say that you are truly one of my very, very favorite mothers and influential women in my life and I love you!!
p.s. I've heard that show is hil-arious...I need to check it out, too...

Aubrey said...

Ah Whit - I'm sorry. I could tell you were stressed when I talked to you on Friday. Next year go out on Saturday and buy yourself a family size Stouffer's Lasagna, that'll at least take care of dinner, and Spencer should be able to throw it in the oven for ya! You are amazing and inspire me, and I know you are the perfect mother for your children. Oh - and can I join you and your sisters on the white sandy beach?

Monica Lifferth said...

You are such a good momma. I use MOther's Day as an excuse to be neglectful and selfish. :) No not really, but I dream of it!

Rachel Teran said...

One day it will be easier, when you can send the littles to go clean whilst you perch your feet up on an ottoman. Yes, one day everything will be different...

Kristyn said...

WHITNEY!!! I saw your comment, and I'm so sorry! :) But, I must tell you I read every single one of your posts, I'm just not a huge commenter (in general). Sooo, I feel even more badly b/c you are the best commenter probably on the planet. And honestly, I have NO idea how you do it. I see you leaving comments on so many people's blogs, you're amazing at it. But anyway, this post especially was too funny, I guess when I see a zillion comments I think, oh yeah, she's FINE with all the comments! :) Maybe you should be less likeable and then I'll come to your aid. Just kidding. You've got an amazing blog and I've always loved it. And I love you. Love it all. I should probably just show it a little more, huh? Love you girl!! :)

whitney said...

No, no silly Kristyn! You leave wonderful, hilarious, insightful comments. *I* left lame not-funny comments today. That's what I was saying!

Smiley Family said...

SO, so sorry. I wish I could share in your sentiments, but Mother's Day was a lovely one for me. But hey, it sure did make for an entertaining post!

Kristyn said...

Whit, that's too funny! I thought you meant by that *shrug* that you were saying like hint, hint or something. But now I totally get how I misread that one! How funny!! Obviously a shrug is not the same as hint, hint. I need to get better with the blogger lingo! :)

Kristyn said...

Whit, that's too funny! I thought you meant by that *shrug* that you were saying like hint, hint or something. But now I totally get how I misread that one! How funny!! Obviously a shrug is not the same as hint, hint. I need to get better with the blogger lingo! :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for saying it! I feel the exact same about MD I hate it!!!! is should go away! we do more for in-laws on thes holidays than for us! thanks for the good laugh