Thursday, October 7, 2010

Formspring #2: Motherhood

As a tag-along to my last post, I figured I'd share a few more mom-related formspring questions and responses. Enjoy!

So, as a follow-up, how many more kids are you planning on at this point?

Probably 5, but we'll see what life brings. I mean, 5 total...not 5 more ;)
(Spencer insists that I should say 12 or we'll stop when I turn 35, whatever comes first :P)

Do you ever feel like you missed out on something by having your kids so quickly and not much time to yourself?

Yeah, the thought occurs occasionally. I used to feel that way a lot more often when I was a newer mom. Sometimes I see young, free college students and I get a little jealous. But, at the end of the day, I do much better in a steady relationship then alone, so I can't imagine life being better if I had married later...then, once you're married it seems the kids come too.

Part of me wishes Spence and I had taken more time to really enjoy ourselves before Ezra came along (we had only been married about 14 1/2 months), but we felt like we were supposed to have him when we did, so that was that.

While I most likely did miss out on a lot of kid-less play and freedom, I can't honestly say I'd have it any other way. My kids make my life so much more full and I can't help but think that it'd be a more then a little lacking if things had gone differently.

So do you ever feel alone in the world of women without a friend to talk to?

Sometimes, especially if the day is particularly rough...but then I remember that I do have people to talk to if I choose to open up and rely on them. I have my sisters, who I talk to very often. I have my best friend from high school (who I co-blog with on Hot Chocolate Talk). I have girls from my ward and friends online.

I think the biggest thing for me is realizing that those women might just be feeling a little down and lonely themselves and it's just as much up to me to reach out to them as it is for them to reach out to me. No matter where one is in life: student, young married, new mom, veteran mom, or empty nester, there are always women who are dealing with the exact same stuff and can reach out and relate. Even better, one can easily cross those lines and realize that a veteran mom can help and relate to a young mom or a young mom to a student or newlywed. We're all just trying to get through the day...but life's trials and joys are so much better when one shares them.

One more thing, just so y'all know...

this song makes me happy :)

(it kinda makes me want to be a hippy)


Steph said...

Really?? A hippy?? I'm just not feelin' it. ;) Glad it makes you happy, though. :)
I often feel the same way you do. I remember being a young 23 yr. old and watching all the young college co-eds in their cute clothes doing fun college-y type things while I was elbow deep in motherhood. It easier now that I'm older.
I'm glad that you feel like you can talk to me. You are often my sanity in the insanity of life. :) Love you!

Adrienne said...

What fun posts! You are such an open book. It's nice to know you're out there and things are so similar. We're also going for 5, trying for #4 (really easy with first 3, jane surprise), slightly miss the early married life but wouldn't change anything. When I watch those newlyweds and envy how much freedom they have, I remind myself that i'm going to be done early and, assuming money is available, we can retire early and go on missions together. Yeah!

Plus, I enjoy chaos. partly why i had 3 so close. I do much better when really busy. things are not slowing down at all like i had suspected. oh well :) right :)

Alabama Apples said...

Hmmm...I do look enviously at the little college girls (mostly in response to their body sizes! ;) ) and think about how much easy/selfish my life was then. But at the same time, how much more empty it was.

I also agree with the fact that having children quicker means that I will be past the baby stage (boo that is actually my fav part so far) and then past the potty-training years and on to school age quicker. Definitely pros and cons with both. Something for you, your sweetie and the Lord to decide.

You are a fab mom and one I think could sanely have lots of kiddies. Hooray for a number 4 in the works!

Aubrey said...

I love talking to you too and now that we are getting a little older and slightly more established and away from the college scene I don't feel quite so down as I used to, besides, there is nothing like getting a sweet hug and kiss from your little one or looking down at your sleeping baby and thinking "I MADE that!"

holyoak said...

Each stage has its own rewards. I can't speak to the college girls stuff obviously. However, I can tell you I have missed the crisp black and white lines and complete submersion in the "work" of being a full-time missionary from the moment I stepped on the plane to come home. That ache has never left me. But back to your post a little more closely; I loved having babies of our own to hold way back when. I love the expansion of one's heart when you love a little one so much that you plead with God to let you take their pains and illnesses, so they won't have to suffer any longer. I loved being a side-line "coach/cheerleader" for girls soccer, etc. I loved being the "Father of the Bride" when my daughters were married in the right way, in the right place. The only thing that equals and is expansive to that is having grand babies and smelling their new-born hair. There is really nothing like having righteous daughters, trying their hardest to be righteous mothers. It is really a unique and special joy that unless you have been there and done that, you just don't get it. So all of these phases have their own unique joys and pains. And none of them should be forfeited for a selfish alternative. I could highlight the son side, but this space seems to be feminine oriented... ; )

Zachary said...

All I can say is you are an awesome Mom.

That's all...and I love you guys.