only half a zillion family photos

First off-a BIG thank you to Jessica and Kristin for your blogger suggestions.  Y'all enabled me to get my blog up and running again with nary a break in sight :)

We recently had our family pictures taken for our annual Christmas cards and to update the kiddo's wall portraits (it's shocking how old they grow in a single year!).  Thank heavens I have Spencer around to keep me on top of things or else we'd be sending out Valentine's Day cards every year, like we did last February.  Anyway, my uber-talented and fabulous friend, Heather, took time out of her busy schedule to take these for us mid-October and only got paid with lemon cookies (which everyone promptly ate at her son's baptism :P).  I think they turned out fabulous...the pictures, that is...I don't know about the cookies.  As for the family picture that made the Christmas card cut...you'll have to wait and see until you get yours in the mail ;) (comment and let me know if you want one!)  I'm choosing to be lazy and won't be captioning that many of the pictures. It might just make the half a zillion picture pill a little easier to swallow.  I figure if you don't know my children's names and personalities by now then there's not much hope for you regardless.

Enjoy!

Miss Scarlett Caroline

This is my favorite of the group and the one I'll most likely be printing off for an 8x10 on my wall.

Mister Ezra Emil

This is the lucky shot that'll get cropped and framed for Ez's wall photo (not because the entire shot isn't gorgeous, but just for consistency with the other kids)

I love these two next pictures.  they just are so Ezra to me :)

Miss Georgia Marie

I think this'll probably the one that gets blown up.  I'm not positive, though.  That girl just doesn't take a bad shot, I swear.

Mister Oak Gideon

Poor little bug was rudely awaken for the photo shoot, so it took him a while to warm up to the camera.  He's normally so giggly that it's unusual to get such a solemn picture of him!

Oakie's naughty face
I see this many, maaany times a day.

 I can't decide if I should use this picture or just crop the first one for his wall shot.  We'll see.  Those baby blues just kill me!

Best Frienemies Forever

Oh, Scarlett and her eternal awkward poses.  How I love them.

According to my children, there is ALWAYS time for silliness...

 She insisted, I promise.

 We couldn't get Oak to take a straight shot after this.  He just wouldn't keep that little tongue of his in.

 Had Scarlett been looking at the camera, this is probably the shot I would've sent out.  So, you get to see our sloppy seconds.

The End!

Thanks again for taking them, Heather, you're the best!!

In which I win Mom of The Year

Blogger is currently misbehaving and insisting I pay it money for more photo storage before allowing me to upload any more pictures.  This irks me to no end (seeing as I'm from the generation that expects to get everything for free, you know).  I have yet to decide what to do about this little quandary.  Oh, and when I updated my blog background it deleted all my blog links.  It kept my widgets as requested, but the blog links are nowhere to be found.  grrrrr.  Anyway, in the meantime, I'll share with you the last pictures I uploaded as a filler until I get things figured out.

The kids were assigned turkey projects as family homework (ie: mom is allowed to help) a couple of weeks ago.  I seem to always forget about these things until the last minute and slap something together, but this year I was actually on top of things and miraculously had supplies on hand even (glory hallelujah!). I know, I know, just call me Mom of the Year.  Anyway, here's what we came up with:

Georgia and incognito Princess Turkey

Ezra and his realistic (he insisted, of course) turkey named Lego

Well, that's it for now.  Hopefully I can work out a deal with blogger soon and be back in business.  I have pictures from our family photo shoot to post and upcoming Christmas festivities, so don't worry, I'll figure it all out soon.

the big ol' bump in the middle of the road

I was planning on posting cute pictures today of Georgia and Ezra with the turkeys they made for their classes at school, I even had them downloaded and everything...instead, I find myself driven to talk about something else instead...my pregnancy.  No, I'm not currently pregnant and no, not one of my previous 4 pregnancies...but that other one.  That one that didn't stick.  The one that didn't last...that other one.

I would be 12 weeks today.

Today, I would be announcing to the world that we were expecting baby #5 and writing an entirely different sort of blog post, although, most likely, with the same set of pictures.  #5...making us a family of seven, making me the mama of an official Brood.  Hopefully our last.  I was due May 31st, although, with my history the baby would probably arrive mid-may, hopefully not on Spencer's birthday on the 14th and before Georgia's on the 26th.  I would be explaining to everyone just why I've been looking a bit...rounder...than usual.

With each pregnancy I show earlier and this last pregnancy was no different.  I swear to you now that I was starting to get a bump by 5 1/2 weeks.  I promise I'm not making it up.  I've always suspected it's the hormones that make me show so early (versus that actual microscopic baby or overeating) and sure, enough, when I started to miscarry that bump started to shrink (as the testing showed my hcg hormone levels were falling), proving my hormone/bump-relation theory.  It was basically gone before I was even done bleeding.

We were planning on this pregnancy being my last so I made sure to savor all the milestones of it.  I thought to myself, "this is it," when I got a positive test result.  I surprised Spencer at work with a bun in a metaphorical oven (a gift bag labeled "oven" ;) to tell him the good news.  I took a couple of early bump pictures when we went to the pumpkin patch in early October (about a week before the miscarriage) and then told the kids about the "baby in my belly" during our family photo shoot so I'd be sure to have it on film, unlike any of the others previously.

I thought it was my last and I wanted to savor every moment of it.

It's silly I know, I knew and know that miscarriages are rampant and I wasn't far along at all, really.  Only 7 1/2 weeks when we lost it.  It's barely a bump in my lengthy reproductive history.

But it wasn't just a bump.  I think, maybe, that's why I felt so driven to write about it today.  I keep on down-playing it to everyone because, frankly, sympathy makes me uncomfortable and for a myriad of other reasons.  And I really am, truly doing fine.  promise.  In some ways I feel like I shouldn't really be all that torn up about it...I mean, I was only 7 weeks and I had only known I was pregnant for a few weeks.  I have 4 other beautiful children and the miscarriage didn't do any lasting damage.  It only took me a few months to get pregnant with that baby and I've never had to try to conceive longer than 6 months at a time...so chances are I'll get pregnant again fairly soon with relative ease.  In reality, the fetus was underdeveloped and wouldn't have lasted long, regardless.  The list goes on...

Really, I know all those things, I do.  There is so much fertility pain in the world and mine is not even a drop in the bucket.  I know so many wonderful, amazing, strong women have it oh-so-much harder than me.  But still...it wasn't just a bump on the road to me.

It was a baby.  A teeny-tiny, underdeveloped (even for it's miniscule age) fetus, I know, but still a dream of a baby to me.  And...that dream died.  That was the single most painful thing...I knew that there was a infinitely small baby dying inside of me.  I went in to get things checked when I started to bleed and there was still a heartbeat.  Faint, underdeveloped, and irregular...but a heartbeat.  That baby, despite the fact that it shouldn't be, was alive.  And...then it wasn't.  I knew it was coming, too.  As soon as I started spotting I knew that was it.

I just did.

And so, life goes on.  I have a bit more experience under my belt and a bit less naivety too.  I'm slightly more vulnerable and things sting a bit more.  Like when Spencer gets some short-lived pregnancy detail wrong or when I hear yet another pregnancy announcement due within a month of my due date...we're up to a dozen already.  Really, let me clarify now, that I am SO HAPPY for all of my friends who are pregnant now and due around the same time I was.  Really, truly happy for you all.  I wouldn't trade places for an instant, wouldn't wish my miscarriage on anyone.  I just wish we could've been pregnant together.  I'm ok, though, really I am.

I just didn't want to forget.  I didn't want this whole thing to pass me by without recording it in the only thing I have that resembles a journal.  I've always believed that the world needs more honesty in it...that we all need to share a bit more of ourselves, more of our humanity with each other.  But mostly...I just didn't want to forget.  There was a baby in there and I loved it.  For a very brief period in time...it was mine.

At the pumpkin patch:

6 weeks

How tall this fall?

Spencer, the brat, insisted I had to lay on the ground for an accurate baby height reading.  That's why the back of my jacket is all dusty in the previous picture. 

Here's the family photo shoot announcement:

 7 weeks

Ezra and Georgia, silly kids, didn't believe me.  Despite having seen it two times before, it still took much convincing before they actually believed there was anything of note in my belly.  I'm totally trying to convince Georgia here.

So, there you have it, friends.  This blog is my heart and my soul and right now, for a while at least, my heart is a little sad...so my blog is a little sad too.  Thanks for letting me empty my mind and soul to you for a bit.

October uber-post, part II

Apparently my "next day" turned out to be more than a weeks.  Oops!  Oh well, better late then never, right?  Anyway, hopefully it's not too too ridiculous to post Halloween pictures half-way through November, 'cause I'm doing it anyway.  Enjoy!

What's Halloween without traditonal jack-o-laterns?  No Halloween I want to be a part of, that's what ;)  Here's ours:

Georgia with her pumpkin, pre-cutting

(and yes, as in years past, pumpkin carving is a clothing-optional event at our house)

This is how Oak was entertained to keep him away from all the knives and pumpkin goo

...it worked for a little while, anyway.

Even pumpkin carving is worthy of pearls, according to Miss Scarlett

Poor Ezzie was sick with a fever.  He couldn't help but fully show his pain with his big puppy dog eyes when he saw me pull out the camera.

Leave it to Spencer to pull out the powertools for pumpkin carving.

Georgia was not a fan of the slimy pumpkin goop (she's my texture girl) but she was a trooper and kinda, sorta helped out.

ok...mostly she just posed for pictures with a spoon in her hand.

 

Proof that I exist

(and that Oak did, eventually, make his way out of the high chair)

Poor, sick Ezra with his finished product.

He directed the carving from his throne of germs

A smiley pumpkin for our smiley girl

Georgia with the finished product

(those long things on the side is the hair...in case, you know, you aren't in the girly-girl loop)

Now onto the blessed event, itself...

Halloween!!!

man, do I love that holiday.

 

 Ezra did it hardcore, ninja-style.  He insisted on not one, but TWO kinds of weapons (you can see his sword sticking out by his neck).  Spencer, of course, provided with his mad cutting skills.

Sorry you can't see much of his eyes in this photo..but who am I kidding?  You can't seem much of his eyes in most any photo.

First off, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You to Auntie Steph and Ella for loaning us the dresses for Georgia and Scarlett's costumes!!!

Our pretty, pretty princess, Cinderella.

When I pointed out to Georgia that she was a princess last year too, she just as quickly pointed out that she was not this princess, which, as any girl worth her salt knows, is definitely an important difference.

I just couldn't resist giving into Scarlett's life-long dream of being Snow White since Miss G got to be Cinderella.  Who can resist a set?

Speaking of which...

Introducing, Happy, The Dwarf

I, of course, had to make Oak match the set while he still doesn't know well enough to resist.  Can you blame a girl?

 The whole brood

And, despite the fact that these pictures are from the weekend before Halloween during Trunk-or-Treat, I couldn't resist posting them.

Back by popular demand...

The Communists

Spencer insisted I couldn't smile for pictures (eveyone knows that communists don't smile), so, of course, I just look like I'm smirking in all of them.

We gave out borscht and bread (along with candy...although the kids did have to dig through the bread to get to it) like good, proper Soviets would.

(In case y'all are wondering, Spencer served his mission in Russia and while most boys come home with nice things like Matryoshka nesting dolls, my husband came back with loads of communist paraphernalia.  Smart girl that I am...I put it to use.  We also printed a few Soviet propaganda posters off at Costco...I can only wonder what the photo shop people were thinking ;)

Lastly...

On the 29th we got to go to Georgia's school to celebrate her winning a citizenship award (along with one student from each class).  This is the uber-cool shirt she got as her reward.

Congrats, Congrats, Miss Georgie-Girl! We're so darn proud of you!

Ok, folks, that's a wrap!  We made it through October.  yay! yay!